What to do when you are alone and need a hug

Photo by Debby Hudson

Recently I came across a story of someone that wanted a hug but didn’t have anyone to hug. We all have days that we feel low and need support. It could sometimes be difficult to find comfort when you are on your own.

Maybe you live far from your family or friends or they can be hard to reach. Maybe you find it difficult to talk about how you feel. Maybe you don’t have many friends. There could be all sorts of circumstances that could make it hard for people to get affection.

Feeling emotionally vulnerable and not being able to share it can be tough. It can also trigger negative unhealthy habits in a desperate attempt to find some comfort. Feeling lonely can trigger reaching for alcohol, food, or other types of addictive compulsive behaviors.

If you feel like you need affection don’t ignore it. Pay attention to your emotional needs and find positive ways to soothe them. Your emotional needs are as important as your physical needs.

Here are some proven suggestions to comfort yourself:

1. If you feel like crying, go for it

Repressing your emotions is not good for you. Sometimes we need a good old cry to let it go. Set a timer for 5-10 minutes and cry. Let it all out! When the timer rings, you are done.

2. Hug yourself

Doing a self hug has been proven beneficial to help satisfy emotional needs. Some people find it soothing to rock while doing this.

3. Bring self-compassion

Pay attention to how you feel and don’t push it way. Be kind, not critical. You can use self- compassion phrases to acknowledge your emotions and repeat them. “ I’m having a moment of suffering”.

4. Extend compassion to others

Think about other people that are in your situation. “ There are also other people in the world that feel like me”. Connect with others suffering. “ May we all be free of suffering.”

5. Share

Find someone to share your situation. Call and contact a friend. If they are not available leave a message and ask them to call you back.

One quote

“Don’t forget that you’re human. It’s okay to have a meltdown. Just don’t unpack and live there. Cry it out and then refocus on where you are headed.“- Unknown

One question

What do you to comfort yourself when you feel sad and you are alone?

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