Quit your anxious trap of perfectionism by changing one belief
A friend says to me: “ Wow, you just finished your first triathlon? That is amazing! “
My answer: “ My timing was terrible. I was one of the last ones to finish. I did awful in the swim and couldn’t catch up”
When you are a perfectionist, others point out to you something positive but your mind focuses on the negative. This focus on things being perfect enhances fears, worries, and stress. When fears keep growing your brain has to release it, anxiety kick in.
In situations that others are able to let go and move on, you are not. Your mind is still hooked on what went wrong.
Perfectionism could seem like a good quality to have. Good motivation to do better. Right?
In reality, is an anxious trap. It gives us the perfect justification to stay in a stress mode. Your mind creates stories about how things should be based on our past. These stories, you believe to be true. For your brain to stay calm things need to align and follow those stories.
But how much control do you have over people and the things that happen in your world? We all have very little control over most of the things that happen to us. We all have fallen in the trap of believing that we do have control.
Also, our brain is caught in this trap. Whenever fears and worries arise when you feel like things are not perfect, it gets triggered. Your mind goes into creating more stress to survive the trap.
When you stop to take a look and really observe what is happening, you realize you are trapped. Look at your chronic fears today. Observe them closely and you will see a perfectionist trap of endless anxiety. A proven key to unlock the trap is to reduce the brain’s stress response activation.
Stop and Breathe
When perfectionism kicks in just notice how you feel. Usually, it will show a physical pattern of sensations in your body. You may feel a type of discomfort or tension. Stop what you are doing. Take a moment, close your eyes and breathe. Just one minute of focusing on your breath can reset the brain out of the stress mode.
Give yourself permission to suck
Challenge the belief that you need to be perfect. Forget about what people expect of you and how you should be. Let go of your fears. Stop trying to control everything. Just give yourself permission to suck at something today. Suck and be happy with it.
“I just give myself permission to suck. I find this hugely liberating”- John Green
What are you going to give yourself permission to suck at today?