The mindful skill for self-confidence

Photo by Aleks Marinkovic

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could always stay attuned to the present moment? Wouldn’t it be great if you could feel confident in expressing your thoughts and feelings?

Many people find it challenging to staying present in conversations. Their mind wanders to their worries and they can’t stay connected. Being absently minded has an impact on your emotional health and your confidence.

Staying present is not something that comes naturally to us.

Living in the present is an ideal state of being and is not permanent. It comes and goes all the time. One determining factor about our absent mind is that it spends a lot of time in the future and the past. If you tend to feel low on confidence, your mind is wandering more than you think.

The more your mind wanders, the more you are prone to revisiting memories from your past that connect with a lack of confidence. The lack of confidence also reflects when your mind travels to the future. You could be thinking that history will repeat itself and worry excessively about the future event going wrong. One thing that can help you with confidence is to practice staying present during conversations with people.

A mindless situation that we all have experienced.

Have you ever been in conversation, and your mind starts wandering, and then you realized that you don’t have a clue about what the other person is talking about? We all have been there.

I clearly remember the last time I was in this situation. I also recall how it feels to be in this uncomfortable situation. You feel awkward, and then you have to figure out if you pretend that you are following the conversation or face the problem and tell the person you were not listening. Also, this situation will not help with confidence around people. Wouldn’t it be better if you were able to stay present?

A simple way of building more confidence is to train your mind to stay present. Become a better mindful listener, and you will increase your confidence. Good listeners are more successful, better employees, better parents, and more supportive partners and spouses. When you improve your listening skills, you will become more trustworthy and get better at problem-solving.

Here are mindfulness practice for staying present in conversations:

  1. Remove distractions: Ensure that electronics, reminders, and phone alerts are turned off if you can put your phone out of your reach.
  2. Mindful posture: Face the person you re-talk to and align your body posture, so it’s comfortable and open. Do not cross your arms, legs, or slouch. Keep your spine erect, and chest open and shoulders relaxed. Look at the person and keep eye contact.
  3. Mindful attention: Your mind will inevitably wander in any conversation. When you notice that this happens, take a pause and slow your breath. You can take three slow breaths and keep your attention on the person.
  4. Less talking and more listening: Do not give your opinion unless you ask you for it. Do your best to listen and stay attentive to only giving feedback that indicates that you are paying attention to the other person.
  5. Mindful silence: Be comfortable with pauses and quiet when the other person is talking. I like to nod my head and stay silent. There is nothing wrong with a little silence and pausing in conversations.

Mindful listening is something that you can intentionally practice with someone you feel comfortable with or with someone you do not feel comfortable around them. Mindfulness will be an excellent ally to build more confidence when you don’t feel confident around a person. Take your time to breathe, listen, and pause.

Slowing down your breathing will help you stay more aware of your emotions, and you will stay more present. Staying mindful will help you project calmer and will enable you to express better your thoughts and feelings.

One quote

“Instead of forcing yourself to feel positive, allow yourself to be present in the now.”

Daniel Mangena

One question

Can you commit today to be more present in your life?

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